The pressure of the Holidays

While the holidays can provide a welcomed change of pace, they can also bring unexpected sources of frustration and tension for adults and children alike. 

Underneath the glitter and lights of Christmas and New Year’s festivities, often there is a built-in pressure to experience the "perfect holiday",  give and receive the "perfect gift", and spend "perfect times" of togetherness with family and friends - After all, we have all worked hard all year long and by December 24^th we have all earned the right to experience pure joy and bliss . 

All of this pre-conditioning may create gaps between our expectations and our reality. 

Whenever we have such gaps unhappiness’s is bound to be the result. Expectations are powerful things, and when they are realized we do feel a sense of satisfaction at the most fundamental human levels – “I desired something, and then I got that something”.  

The point that things get more complex and interesting is when we do not get what we expected, and things do not play out as planned. 

In children the results are often predictable, while in adults the results are less so.  How many of us have heard the refrain “you ruined my Christmas, you ruined my holiday, ect” A few examples may be in order 

• Employee “A” goes into his annual evaluation meeting expecting a 10% raise, after meeting with his  boss, he only gets a 4% raise, and he feels anger and displeasure.
• Employee “A” goes into his annual evaluation meeting expecting a 10% raise, after meeting with his boss, he gets a 12% raise, and he feels warm happiness and joy.
• Employee “A” goes into his annual evaluation meeting expecting a 10% raise, after meeting with his boss, he gets a 12% raise, and he feels happiness and joy. This happiness and joy turns to rage when he finds out that his colleague got a 20% raise.

The point of the above is that a person’s expectations may be fluid in nature and may also be tied to and adjusted by what they perceive to be the reality of their own environment. 

People who experience continued displeasure at not having their expectations met and expend great energy in fighting for their expectations may be better served in working on the expectations themselves. 

Back to the holidays.....the pressure to experience joy and bliss is immense, it is all around us. 

It is in the media, it is in the Netflix holiday specials, it is in the questions that people ask, “how was your Christmas”........“ I wish you a merry Christmas” 

 The truth is that not all that much changes when you bring in a pin tree and set it up in your living room with dollar store flashing lights and then make multiple credit card purchases based on the messaging of a chubby white haired old man called Santa Clause, marketed in the colors of Coca Cola. 

Keep things simple, do your best to manage your expectations - do not expect perfect - expect human ,  and this will help you indeed have a happy holiday season and a happy new year .  

If you need to talk .....call us we are here to help.